Work at Home Education Center

For stay at home moms, what do your husbands do when they come home from work?

I'm just wondering for those moms who stay at home with their kids, when your husbands/boyfriends come home from work, do they help out with the kids at all?? I know my husband works extremely hard to provide for his family, but should he not have to do anything at all when he comes home from work? Sometimes I'll ask him to give our daughter a bath and he says its my job to do that b/c he has worked all day. I don't make him do anything around the house except clean the shower b/c he is a mechanic and the shower can get really dirty due to his work so that is the only thing I ask of him. I'm just wondering if it is fair that just b/c he works outside the home, he shouldn't help out with the kids as far as bathing them, brushing teeth, putting them too bed, etc.

Public Comments

1. mine get home around 1130 casue he works night but he does not wake up with them or really nothing umless i tell him to change a diaper so i throw one at him and run so he has to change it. but other then that nothing i do it all sometime he will cook before he goes to work but i wish he help out a lil by waking up with them sometime where i can get some sleep

2. Yeah, he should help you out with that! Tell him it's a good way to bond with your kids... talk about the day?
Tell him that he's worked all day, but so have you. Your job is the house and kids and you'd like to take your 1 hour lunch break now... he'll get the hint quick!

3. My dad gets home, sits on the ouch, demands dinner, and watchs tv or porn on his computer then falls asleep hogging up the couch. and refuses to let us put the air on.

4. Oh, YES my husband helps. The kids were his idea so I told him I was not about to do all the legwork.

5. he will if i ask but he works 2 jobs and likes to come home and watch tv.

6. No, of course it isn't fair. You are even validating his thinking by making comments like "he works hard all day". Well, don't you do the same thing? Staying at home with children is a job!

My husband is thoughtful enough to be a huge help in the evenings, despite his working all day every day away from home. He knows that I am working all day, too. But I know that isn't how a lot of men think.

You should remind your man that you have an important job, too. A great way to demonstrate is to make plans with friends or family to be gone all day on a Saturday. Let your husband take care of your kids for the whole day. He'll be a lot less likely to take you for granted after that.

Good luck!

7. Not so much at night, but he does help with the kids in the morning, that way I'm able to sleep in at least until 10:30 every morning.

8. my dad sits on his butt and watches t.v.!lmao im the 1 taking care of my 2 yr. old brother and 11 month old sister when my mom is at work at nights.=[

9. My husband is the same way. I think he should help out with kids and give me a break for at least 30 minutes. Does he though, NO. I enjoy being a stay at home mom, but I tell him that with his job he at least gets a day off work, if the kids are my job, then I deserve some alone time myself. I can't even get him to get the kids dressed after a bath. I get frustrated and at my whits end sometimes dealing with the kids, especially my son who has the worst temper tantrums I have ever seen. his idea of helping to discipline the kids is by sending them to their room, which I don't think does anything and I end up dealing with everything yet again. I think he does that sometimes because he knows I will handle it in the end. But I defiantly think they should have to help out with the kids.

10. Mine comes home and whinges if I ask him to do anything aswell! I keep telling him if his job goes from 7am to 4pm then why doesn't mine end then too?
He will help with dressing the kids after bath, and putting them to bed but only if I ask him two or three times.
But he does play with the kids and help put the rubbish out! But anything else is a drama!

When men get home it should be equal duty till the kids go to bed! (fat chance of that happening hey!!)
Although when i was working he used to do heaps more because I guess he saw us as more of an equal thing.

good luck and when you find the secret to getting them to realise we want help too, then pass it on!

11. When i had a husband he felt that his 40 hr a week job was more than my 24/7 job as a mother so he would come home and watch tv, drink a beer, go out with his friends. I asked him to watch our son (we only had 1 at the time) for 30 minutes so i could take a shower, i hadn't gotten to take one in 4 days and he refused, said that i would just have to wait until the baby was asleep because he worked hard all day to support us, that he was the money maker. I just rolled my eyes and walked away thinking, how much money we saved because i was home. Daycare alone was $150/week and studies have shown that even insurance companies find that stay at home moms are the most valuable because they work 24/7 barely ever getting a break. I think that no matter which parent works outside the home they should still help out with the kids when they get home. I'm not saying they should have to clean the house and stuff just simply that they should be willing to help out with the kids. They are their kids too.

12. my husband works 14 hours a day, actually 12 but 2 hours of travel there and back. my husband wasnt able to help out much other than on weekends but he just got switched to days which is still some crazy hours 5Am to 7 pm. So when he gets home I have dinner done , while I and one of the kids clean up kitchen, he will play games with the kids talk about their day. He has thursday to cook becasue I bowl on that day. thye are all olded enough to bath themselves, brush teeth he just makes sure they get it done and when they are all in bed he goes in and tucks them in and gives kisses and hugs. They have really missed this when he was on nights 5 pm till 7 am. When he was on that shift all he could do was help with homework before he went to work and put them on bus in the morning.

I think dads need to be involved with some ritual that only they have with the children that way it is something special that dad gets to share with them because they miss out on a lot of special things because they are at work.

13. My husband always "jumps in" to help as soon as he gets home. He feels that I work just as hard during the day taking care of our kids as he does doing his job. One of my favorite things to tell people when they ask what I do, is them that I run a daycare for my husband's kids. It gets a lot of confused looks until I tell them that they are my kids too. :)

Personally I think that a husband should help. Not that a SAHM should sit and watch soaps and eat bon bons, but your husband puts in a finite amount of hours at his job and your "job" has no set hours. Not to mention that you are on call 24-7. (Think about it, when was the last time you actually took a "lunch break" and weren't just feeding yourself from the kids leftovers?)

14. My husband gets homes, goes upstairs to change and usually takes the baby up for a diaper change, comes down stairs and plays with our two boys while I finish with dinner or start dinner depending on our day, he feeds the baby, washes the dishes while I clean up the kitchen and help my 4 year old clean up his toys. Then he will wrestle with the boys while I read the paper. He has taken over bath duty because according to my oldest son, he is more fun than grumpy mommy. Night time is his time to be with the boys and he loves it. And I love him. I count my lucky stars every day.

15. honestly, my husband sits down and watches tv.

the answer you were probably looking for is: he washes my kids up, brushes their teeth, and puts them to bed. then he helps me load the dishwasher and he makes the coffee for tommorow. don't forget he kisses everyone goodnight!

haha. you have to have a sense of humor to appreciate this. when you pick me as best answer, please tell me if you found this funny.=]

16. He should most definitely help out with his children. If he's not going to be there to do things with them or to help them out when they need help (like a bath, or homework, or whatever) then why did he have kids? I understand he works hard outside of the house. . . and so does my husband, but for 1 second don't believe that a stay at home moms job is any easier. I know I have my handsfull all day and all night. I'm "on call" as I put it 24/7. Whether is waking up in the middle of the night b/c my sons sick, or giving him a bath, cleaning the house, doing laundry, whatever, I am constantly busy and I feel that although I don't get paid for it (as in money) I probably do more in a week than my husband does at work, and I make nothing doing so except a good feeling that I keep the house running smoothly and that i'm loved and appreciated for what I do. But no its not fair that your husband never helps out. Furthermore those are his children too (im assuming) and he should want to help them whenever he can. Otherwise, why did he have children?

17. well I think he should he read a book or play with His daughter.you have worked all day also taking care of his daughter and cleaning the house and cooking and running errands.Your job don't end when he comes home why should his.?My Husband works 3rd shift,I get the kids up and make sure there getting ready for school and get breakfast for them and then I drop them off at school and go to work.My Husband picks them up from school and he comes home and eats a sandwich and take a shower and off to bed where I am left to do everything else after working a full day.

18. he has his job..working outside the home providing money for his family. you work inside the home keeping things together. keeping a clean house...doing finances....but when it comes to children ..whom youve both made there is no "his/her job"

19. My husband is a HUGE help. I cannot complain at all. When he gets home, he immediately takes our daughter for some bonding time, and some give mommy a break time. We take turns at night giving her her evening bath and putting her to sleep. I do it more than he does but he does it a few times a week when he's not too tired. I don't ask him to do these things, he does them because he wants to. There is no reason why once in a while your husband can't help you. You have a full time job as well and it doesn't stop just because the clock says 5. Good luck to you.

20. Well as soon as my husband gets home we eat dinner then he plays with our son and gives him a bath before we go to bed. I do the dishes and clean up from dinner because since I don't work that is my job. But like I told him I didn't make this baby by myself nor is it my job to take care of this child by myself, durning the day yes it is but as soon as he gets home the respondsibility falls on both of us

21. My husband works damn hard also but he comes home and plays with my daughter which helps me get things done around the house without interuptions. He usually is the one to give her a bath. Im more if the get in and get it done mom and he lets her splash and play. So to answer your questions he plays with her and picks up after himself. I dont think that just because he works for money doesnt mean we dont work either. Plus she is his kid also- not just mine!

22. My husband doesn't help either but there is no point in arguing, it just stresses out the kids. I am also a SAHM, I am home with the kids all day, cook, clean, ect...I have dinner ready for him when he gets home and then I am out the door to go to school...I go to school from 6:30-9:20pm M-Th and the man can't even put his kids to bed at 8pm...he lets them do whatever they want and then I have to come home and change diapers and put them to bed...it really pisses me off at times...but what can I do? I'll just wait til I am done with my degree and can get a good paying job and leave him. LMAO

23. i have always had a bit of a hard time with this myself. if i ask him to do anything i feel guilty because i stay home all day with the kids, but on the other hand i always felt that he should WANT to help out. i don't care much about the housework, but when else does he get to see his kids? when my children were infants my husband just didn't know what to do with them. he didn't seem to know how to help but now that they are 2 & 4 he definately relates to them better and he tries his very best to get home by bedtime and although he comes home from the office and ends up still having to work from the house at night he still tries for that special time with them which i absolutely love. personally i find that very attractive, but we definately were hurting when the kids were younger and he didn't seem really interested. he would come home and watch tv. "he worked all day and needed time to unwind". funny thing is that although i stay home all day i work too - after the kids go to bed. not to mention all the work that goes into running a household. bottom line - i think he should help and that he should want to help. of course they say men don't know they are supposed to want to help. they don't realize it isn't as good if we have to tell them, but you might have to anyway or you'll just end up doing everything by yourself all the time. i know alot of women whose husbands just want to relax at night after work and not deal with the kids- you aren't alone.

24. my husband is exactly the same, he says are you stupid i have just worked a 9 hr shift when i ask for help with the kids...to be honest i think its a man thing

25. My husband has his dinner, rests for a bit and then walks the dog. We put the kids to bed together. We got over this whole "your job/my job" thing many many years ago by agreeing for me to stay at home and do the lion's share of the work here at home.
Bottom line - when it comes to his children it's not "helping out" it's "being involved". He should want to spend time with his children, not see it as a chore.

26. my hubby has always come home took shower ( he works with fiber glass) and then played with kids, help with homework. asked if i needed help with cooking, my kids are teenagers and my hubby still does the same stuff.. guess i got one of the rare ones that want to do as much as he can for his wife and children

27. My Husband too…
Works from 6:00am-9:00pm Monday-Friday
And I am a stay @ home mom
I have been for the last 6-Years
But you need to Nip that not helping you right in the butt…
Yes, of course he needs to help you with the Kids..
You take care of the Children, School, Food, Clothing, Shopping, Cleaning, and Kids stuff @ School etc…
What I did was this……
1. When I made Doctor Appointments for the Kids (He went with us)
2. School Functions / Games Softball etc…He went to all the Games
3. I had him get more Involved with them (He will regret it all when they are older)
4. I had the Kids do stuff for him Really Special for every Fathers Day etc… (Men are like Babies, they Love all the attention)
5. Find out what your Husband & kids can do all together (Game Night / Movie Night / Road Trips / Park / Beach)
6. Let your Husband relax when he comes home after his Shower, he then can help you out…
7. If your Husband wants Sex, well you are just too exhausted because you just way too much to do before you go to bed..(Get it?)
8. Have a Date-Night (You & your Husband) hire a Baby-Sitter / Go even to a Local Motel / Movie / Dinner Relax / Talk about what you are feeling away from the Kids & Atmosphere
9. Do not talk about Finances in Bed / nor what the Kids did that was bad / not in Bed…
10. Let him know that you will have more time with him if he helps you out faster with the Kids & more time with him…
11. If none if this works / you need a Vacation with out your Husband & let him take care of the House & Kids (Let him see how much you do)
12. You need to Change your Husband now, but don’t let him know that you are doing this…make him Believe it is his Idea…
13. Take some time for you as well…Get your Hair done, Nails etc…Pamper yourself as well…when you go shopping the Kids can wait on Clothing, Shoes for awhile…just treat yourself no & then….Trade off with other Parents with Kids / so that you have time as well to you……

My Husband loves to be with Us & Helps all of us in the House....
But remember my Husband did not come to me this way {:
I made him like that....
Good Luck!!!!!!!!

28. they want dinner and they make a mess

29. I always did that sort of thing because I only have one daughter and I really enjoy doing it. My husband NEVER gave my daughter a bath, brushing teeth, etc. However, every once in a while he helped put her to bed. I'm not saying any of this is right; I'm just saying that's what I did. I didn't work, and he did. He worked LONG hours, so by the time he got home, all that stuff was done anyway.

30. I run a home daycare so not only do I care for my 2 but for others as well. My hubby is awesome he will once a week when he comes home feed the kids bath them and let me go to the gym. When he sees I have had a hard day he is always eager to help. I can't complain.

31. I'm a SAHM, and the moment my husband walks in the door, his eyes light up the second he sees me, and we reconnect! He works really hard at a very physical job, he's an electrician, so he is definitely not 'required' to do household work during the week. However, due to some of my physical problems with hands and knees, he does have to help out occasionally. He'll do big stuff on the weekends, even when he is on call.
As for with kids, he didn't do the 'work' stuff, but rather the DAD stuff - reading to them in bed, and sometimes they fell asleep together, which was cool. Sometimes going shopping, on weekends we did things together as a family, either in the home or out.
You need to appreciate your husband for what he does, and just feel truly fortunate that his hard work allows you to be a SAHM. You need to make your home a welcoming presence for him, in the arms of a loving wife and children.
Time for an attitude adjustment, before you get more resentful.

32. My DH works 2 jobs so I can be a SAHM. He works until 2am most nights, so obviously sleeps when he gets home :) When he is around at home, he is involved with our kids (4 months old and almost 2 years old). He will play with them, helps with bedtime, sometimes stays with our daughter while I run errands (the baby is nursing, so always goes with me for now). He takes care of all the outside work at home. So I try not to bother him to do too much more than that, though I do get him to fix stuff around the house when needed. But taking care of the kids and the house is also a tough job, my husband knows I am working just as hard as him, if not harder (did you know if SAHMs were actually paid to do the work they do for the family, they would be making over $135,000 a year according to salary.com). Also, we both feel that the kids should get to have Daddy time - kids should have the opportunity to bond with both parents, and some working dads miss out on that b/c they see it as only mom's job to be with the kids.