Work at Home Education Center

Working and stay at home moms? Why not compromise and think about part-time work?

Don't understand all the fuss here. I consider myself a stay-at-home mom but I do work about five to ten hours a weeks depending on my work schedule. I think it is the best of both worlds. Yes, I understand single moms can't do it. Yes, I understand some people are so broke they can't (Although I question why did you not plan a little better- baring some extreme circumstances).
I really question a two family income where the mom HAS to work full time. Are you telling me that you can't reduce to half-time? Reduce the cable, phone, get a cheaper house, cut down on expenditures... are you really living in such an extreme situation??? Can't stay home for at least a year? Basically how do you refute that all the literature states that for the best well being of a child the mom should be the primary care giver for the first three years of their life. People go into debt for vactions and to remodel their home why not go into debt so you can stay home at least part time with your child?
I guess I wonder why more Mom's with an significant other don't work on a part time basis instead of full time (for at least a short time). Kids are young once. Do you really think a daycare will love and care for your child as well as you can? Will you some day look back and regret not spending more time with your children?
Henry Violet obviously does a crappy daycare...
I am interested b/c being raised by an army of babysitters (As I was) really, really sucked!
Our plan is that as soon as the youngest is in school I will work pretty mcuh full time and the kids will be in aftercare for about 10-15 minutes a day. (Just because my husband may not be able to make it home in time everyday). So that would be less then one hour a week of aftercare. I currently work from home and hope to continue to do so (That's our first plan) Working a job from outside the home and using an hour of aftercare a week is the second plan. Why can familes live tight for just the first three years of a child's life? Why??? Why does the mom have to work full time? Again, single parents excluded. I have know people who worke din daycares- horrible. Now a family member helping out that's a different story. But of course, I think it would be nice it the mother is the primary caregiver. My opinion of course. Although it is backed with scientic literature.
Sorry, demarkation_line. Look up it on Pubmed. Again try and find a child psychologist who says otherwise. And of course, duh, an abusive mom is not good - working or not. I think there is a lot of guilt from mom's who have a choice to stay at home at least part time but instead put their six week old babies in daycare. Lets see the live of a baby. Wake up, get dressed, eat, off to daycare, come home, eat, bath, some playtime (a short amount), then bed. When do they really get quality time with the family? On the weekends? I not saying don't work at all. I'm saying what about a compromise?? At least for a year or two? C'mon. You can't afford that? Or you choose not to?

Public Comments

1. Why are so interested in what other people do? You can do what you want and people can do what they want.

2. I agree with you. I am a stay at home mom. We cut back tremondously just to stay at home. We have 2 children. Maybe things are tough, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

3. WOW!! I totally agree with everything you said.. You and I should start a group demanding accountability for parents. I am a single mom of 2 young boys.. I work from home, I started my own business 5 years ago.. I get no child support from dad as he is a deadbeat who is running and moves to avoid paying (another story) I sacrifice everything for my children.. I owned my own daycare at one time and I saw the pain in those children.. I am appalled at our society and all that is wrong with kids of today and people don't seem to realize the current 25 to 30 somethings were the very beginnings of daycare raised children. . And boy have things gone downhill.. It is wonderful that a woman can have a choice and decide to have a career and climb the corporate ladder but someone suffers and pays the price and it should never ever be the children.. they did not ask to be here and they deserve the best we can give them of OURSELVES..not a bunch of materialistic stuff like fancy cars. remodeling or hot tubs.. My kids are the two most well balanced , responsible and respectable young men and I did that. .I take credit for that.. I am raising them to be men of integrity. When a child is in daycare all day or before and after school, someone else is instillilng their values, their morals if any on your child, then people wonder why their children are angry and out of control. this is a huge mistake.. I grew up during the sexual revolution and I am proud to be a woman.. I did the full time business thing a long time ago.. now it is time to raise the kids.. I love being the one who hugs them when they are hurt.. to celebrate when they get an A on a spelling test.. to volunteer in the classroom. to bake cookies.. to go to McDonalds for a special celebration.. those are moments you never ever get a second chance with..
I am with you.. I believe with my whole heart that children from 2 income full time working families are going to be the most screwed up generation so far.. I pray daily that we as a society wake up and smell the coffee.. I live near alot of Amish and the families work together, helping , Mom raises the kids all day, dad works. .grandparents lend a hand.
whew.. glad you shared that.
Thank yoiu

4. I choose not to judge one or the other as being right.
However, I would like to give you my "opinion" on this subject.

The most important job on this planet is being a parent.
How the children are brought up when they are young, will affect the rest of their lives and the future of this world.

I chose to stay home with my children and I said, at that time, that I would rather go on welfare, if I had to, than go to work (outside the home) and not be there at all times, for the children. Please, I am not judging those mothers that choose to work, I am just giving my choices for my family.

I think if this was a perfect world, mothers should be paid to stay at home. Let us see what their jobs would be:-

Cook
House cleaning
Laundry
Dish washer
Hairdresser
Therapist
House keeping
Sandwich maker
Teacher
Driver
Nurse
Babysitter
Coach
etc. etc.

You could all think up other work related jobs one does as a mother.

But to each his own!

5. It is because people have different priority's, different needs and plans. Their goals and how they go about achieving them are different than yours. Different but not less important than yours.

What you are doing is pitting "your" beliefs against other mothers. The things that work for you may not work for everyone else.

"how do you refute that all the literature states that for the best well being of a child the mom should be the primary care giver for the first three years of their life"

Easy....having Mom be the primary care giver for the first three years is no guarantee that the kids will turn out any better than one from parents that worked full time.

I've seen some first class working moms and some revolting SAHM and I've seen the reverse.

Your views are just that.....yours.....and that doesn't make someone else that works full or part time any less of a great mother.

6. I choose to stay at home and look after my 3 kids. I'm a stay at home mum and i work every Saturday (to get out of the house.) I think each to there own. i enjoy spending time with my kids. when they are all at school i plan on getting full time work. but some people really can't have the pleasure of spending every day with there kids, so i don't think it's fair to judge someone for not being able to not work, some people can't even afford rent!!